Sunday 11 August 2013

Too old to change?

For the past 4 years I've embarked on changes to my life that many people have said they could not do. Quitting smoking, becoming a vegetarian to living with my ex wife in the family home. Then there are the behaviour changes I needed to make. Ones that are deep and difficult to overcome. Those ones were maybe easier then when I was young, the aging process has a way of calming you down.
Back to the point I still find it hard to believe that many people will not change regardless of the evidence before them. I stopped drinking 28 years ago, it was plain to me that my continued habit would ruin any chance I had at raising our first child. Alcohol is in my opinion the most dangerous drug there is. But I thought this would calm my temper, but it did not. I quit eating meat and dairy, this was a big one. The cravings and feelings of "kill, kill, kill" still nag at me. A very ingrained thing eating meat. But the evidence was overwhelming, not to mention the way our meat is raised. It has gone so far from good and nutritional there is no way I will ever eat it again.
The big one in most minds is "quitting smoking". To me every time I thought about it I would light up another. The brain makes all these associations with smoking that are hard to ignore. But in the end, when I did do it it was way easier then I thought it would be. I still on occasion dream that I'm smoking. The brain will not give up it's association with this that easy. I liken it to deleting files on a PC. Every time my brain would say "have a smoke" I would delete the entry.
Now I'm on the final one, the big one. Anger management. Ironically we are all cry babies that insist on getting our way, we are all bullies to some degree and anger is the tool we use when it is needed. But then I thought, what is there really to be angry about? The worst things that can happen will, you will hit the wall at some point. And in the end, what does getting your way do for you? I find it an empty feeling after a rage, after bulling someone, after getting my way. I'm finding that taking the high road is way more rewarding, because life is just too dam short.
So go ahead, make a change in your life. It's really not that hard.
7 billion, all starting to grow up, and counting

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